Parents Are Awesome: Life is Our Canvas
Sixty Years Of Memories
For my dad’s 60th birthday last week, I wanted to do something really fun. My dad and I talk a lot about the past—nostalgia runs in our blood, I think—and we both love to reminisce. Inspired by Jordan Ferney’s Postcard Birthday Poster, I started batting around an idea: what if I could get everyone from my dad’s past to contribute a memory they had of him? What if I had all those people send their memories to me, and then I put each one into an envelope—sixty total, of course—and had him open them, one by one, on his birthday?
That would be a lot of memories, right?
So I wrote an email. I sent it to family, to friends, to aunties and uncles we’d grown up calling aunties and uncles even though they weren’t related by blood. This is what I said:
Hello everyone!
If you’re receiving this email, you probably know that our dad, Patrick Burns, is turning 60 next month (much as he would hate us to be reminding everyone, I’m sure.) To celebrate his birthday, we’d like to put together a little surprise to let him know that his nearest and dearest are thinking of him. We’re going to try and create “60 Years of Memories” by filling 60 envelopes with a memory his friends and family have of him.
And this is where you come in!
If you have a spare moment in the next few days, we would be so grateful if you’d jot down a favorite memory you have of our dad and put it in the post. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy — you can just write it down on a piece of paper and sign your name. You can mention anything you like — although the more nostalgic the better! Please absolutely feel free to send more than one memory (in fact, we welcome it — we’ve got 60 envelopes to fill!), but make sure you write them on different pieces of paper (and sign your name to each) so we can split them up.
Thank you so, so, so much for participating — we know everyone is busy with their own lives, and we do appreciate you taking a few minutes to do this; it will be so worth it when he reads all the memories people have of him! (Please don’t forget to keep it a surprise until then, though!)
Thank you so much again.
–Holly, Tom, Luke, and Susie
(I also gave them my address, of course, though I’ve obviously left it out here. Not that I don’t want to open the door and have you standing there wielding a steak knife, but it might be kind of awkward for both of us.)
So I sent the email and then I waited. And then the replies started coming in and I was flabbergasted. I was flabbergasted, Internet, and I do not use that word lightly. There were so many memories, and they were all so lovely. They came from the 50s, the 60s, the 70s, from every decade between now and the day my dad was born. They came from my mother, my siblings, my grandma, my dad’s friends from high school, his sister, an old girlfriend, my mother’s old boyfriend, my dad’s first boss, a colleague at his first job, from people who remembered people no longer with us, from people who hadn’t seen my dad in forty years, from people I hadn’t even contacted originally but who had been told about the project by someone else. They typed them and handwrote them. They mailed them and emailed them. I collected them for two weeks, my heart pinging with excitement each time a new one arrived.
The night before his birthday, my sister and I stayed up late, putting everything together. I had some vintage airmail envelopes left over from my wedding—I found them on ebay a few years ago—and I bought a packet of numbered stickers at Michaels after a fraught half hour of anxious math, trying to decide how many we’d need. We numbered the envelopes from one to 60, then we tucked a different memory into each.
And then, on the morning of his birthday, after breakfast and presents and cake, we gave them to him. “Just one more thing for you,” we said.
It took him a really, really, really long time to open them. Each one was a brief ticket to another time, a leap backwards over years and decades into the past. There was a lot of laughter, and—I don’t think my dad will mind me telling you this—a few tears too.
There were also a couple of emerging themes:
a) My dad locks himself out a lot
b) My dad may have had a little too much to drink upon occasion during his rugby-playing years
c) My dad often has trouble remembering to bring his passport on international trips.
I’m thinking at least two of those three might have been related, what do you say?
In a way, I’m sort of sad that this project is over because it was a huge amount of fun to collect and collate all of these memories, many of them occuring years before I was even born. It gave me a different picture of my dad, one woven together by all the people from his past, all those people who—weirdly, peripherally, slowly, surely—put into action the sequence of events that led to my life as I know it.
Turns out, you can make a lot of memories in sixty years. And then, if you’re lucky, you can relive them all over again.
5 Values You Should Teach Your Child by Age Five
Many parents think that it’s premature to teach values to a toddler or preschooler. But that’s a misconception. Here are the values that all children should develop by their fifth birthday, and some easy ways to make them stick.Value #1: Honesty
Help Kids Find a Way To Tell the Truth
The best way to encourage truthfulness in your child is to be a truthful person yourself. Consider this story: Carol decided to limit the number of playdates between her 3-year-old son, Chris, and his friend Paul. The boys had been fighting a lot recently, and Carol thought they should spend some time apart. So when Paul’s mother called one afternoon to arrange a get-together, Carol told her that Chris was sick.
Overhearing this, her son asked, “Am I sick, Mommy? What’s wrong with me?” Carol, taken aback by her son’s frightened look, told him she had only said he was sick, because she didn’t want to hurt Paul’s mother’s feelings. Carol then launched into a complicated explanation of the distinctions between the various types of lies, and Chris was confused. All he understood was that fibbing is sometimes okay-and that, in fact, it’s what people do.
Your child takes his cues from you, so it’s important that you try to avoid any kind of deception, even a seemingly innocuous one. (Never, for instance, say something like “Let’s not tell Daddy we got candy this afternoon.”) Let your child hear you being truthful with other adults. Carol would have been better off saying, “This isn’t a good day for a playdate. I’m concerned that the boys were fighting so much last week. I think they need a break.”
Another way to promote the value of honesty: Don’t overreact if your child lies to you. Instead, help her find a way to tell the truth. When the mother of 4-year-old Janice walked into the family room one afternoon, she saw that her large potted plant had been toppled and that several branches had been snapped off. She knew right away what had happened: Once before, she had seen Janice making her Barbie dolls “climb the trees,” and she’d told her daughter at the time that the plants were off-limits. When Mom demanded an explanation, a guilty-looking Janice blamed the family dog.
Janice’s mom reacted sensibly: She interrupted her child’s story and said, “Janice, I promise I won’t yell. Think about it for a minute, and then tell me what really happened.” After a moment, the child owned up to her misdeed. As a consequence, Janice had to help clean up the mess and was not allowed to watch television that afternoon, but her mom made sure to emphasize how much she appreciated her daughter’s honesty. In doing so, she taught the child an important lesson: Even if being honest isn’t always easy or comfortable, you-and other people-always feel better if you tell the truth.
Value #2: Justice
Insist That Children Make Amends
At a recent family gathering, Amy and Marcus, 4-year-old cousins, were making castles out of wooden blocks. Suddenly, Amy knocked over Marcus’s castle, and he started to cry. Witnessing the scene, Amy’s father chided his daughter and ordered her to apologize. Amy dutifully said, “I’m sorry.”
Then her dad took her aside and asked, “Do you know why you pushed over his blocks?” She told him that she was mad because Marcus’s castle was bigger than hers. The dad told her that though this was no excuse for destroying her cousin’s castle, he could understand her feelings. He then sent her back to play.
The father’s reaction was similar to that of many psychologically savvy parents: He wanted his daughter to identify and express her feelings and to understand why she behaved as she did. That’s okay, but it isn’t enough. In order to help children internalize a true sense of justice, parents need to encourage them to take some action to remedy a wrong. For example, Amy’s dad might have suggested that she help Marcus rebuild his castle or that she bring him some cookies as a gesture of apology.
Saying “I’m sorry” is pretty easy for a child, and it lets her off the hook without forcing her to think. Having a child make amends in a proactive way conveys a much stronger message. If you’re aware that your child has acted badly toward someone, help him think of a way to compensate. Maybe he can give one of his trucks to a playmate whose toy he has damaged. Perhaps he could draw a picture for his sister after teasing her all day. By encouraging your child to make such gestures, you emphasize the importance of treating people fairly-an essential value that will one day help him negotiate the complicated world of peer-group relationships.
Value #3: Determination
Encourage Them To Take on a Challenge
Five-year-old Jake showed his mother a drawing that he’d made with his new crayons. “That’s very bright and colorful,” she told him. “Nice job!” The child then ran to his room and dashed off another drawing to bring to his mom for praise-then another and another.
“Each one was sloppier than the last,” his mother said. “I didn’t know what to say.” A good response might have been: “Well, Jake, that drawing isn’t as carefully done as your other one. Did you try your best on that?”
Determination is a value that you can encourage from a very young age. The easiest way to do so is by avoiding excessive praise and by providing children with honest feedback, delivered in a gentle, supportive fashion.
Another powerful way to help kids develop determination is to encourage them to do things that don’t come easily-and to praise them for their initiative.If your son is shy, for instance, quietly encourage him to approach kids on the playground, even if it makes him feel nervous and scared. If your daughter is quick to blow a fuse, teach her strategies (such as counting to ten or taking a deep breath) for holding back a temper tantrum. Congratulate kids when they manage to do things that are difficult for them. The child who hears “Good for you, I know that was really tough!” is bolstered by the recognition and becomes even more determined to keep trying.
Value #4: Consideration
Teach Them To Think about Others’ Feelings
Anne was frustrated because her daughters, ages 3 and 4, ended up whining and fighting every time she took them grocery shopping. “I finally told them that we needed to figure out how to do our shopping without everyone, including me, feeling upset,” Anne says.
The mom asked the girls for suggestions on how to make the trip to the grocery store a better experience for all. The 4-year-old suggested that they bring snacks from home so they wouldn’t nag for cookies. The 3-year-old said she would sing quietly to herself so she would feel happy.
The girls remembered their promises, and the next trip to the supermarket went much more smoothly. Leaving the store, the younger girl asked, “Do you feel really upset now, Mommy?” The mother assured her that she felt just fine and remarked how nice it was that nobody got into an argument.
Do these small problem-solving exercises actually help a child learn the value of consideration? You bet. Over time, even a young child sees that words or actions can make another person smile or feel better, and that when she’s kind to someone else, that person is nice to her. This feedback encourages other genuine acts of consideration.
Value #5: Love
Be Generous with Your Affection
Parents tend to think that children are naturally loving and generous with their affection. This is true, but for loving sentiments to last, they need to be reciprocated. It’s chilling to realize that over the course of a typical busy day, the phrase “I love you” is probably the one that a child is least likely to hear.
Let your child see you demonstrate your love and affection for the people in your life. Kiss and hug your spouse when the kids are around. Talk to your children about how much you love and appreciate their grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.
And, of course, don’t let a day pass without expressing your affection for your child himself. Show your love in unexpected ways: Pack a note in his lunch box. Tape a heart to the bathroom mirror so he’ll see it when he brushes his teeth. Give her a hug-for no reason. Don’t allow frantic morning drop-offs or frenetic afternoon routines squeeze loving gestures out of your day.
I can practically guarantee you that the more you say “I love you” to your child, the more your child will say “I love you” back. The more hugs and kisses you give, the more your home will be filled with love and affection. And when our children feel free to express their love to us, we instill in them perhaps the greatest value of all.
10 SECRETS YOUR MOTHER WILL NEVER TELL YOU: PREPARE YOUR NAPKINS!
I am sure that you already love your mother and treasure her for everything that she did for you, but did you know that she has secrets, too? Below I will share with you 10 secrets that mothers usually keep away from their kids – no matter how young and old they are – and these are secrets that might bring some tears to your eyes. One thing is clear, though: you need to know then and after reading them, you’ll probably need to go tell your mother how much you love her.
1. You hurt her A LOT
It hurt when you yelled at her. It hurt when you pushed her away when she wanted a hug. It hurt when you pulled her hair or when you bit her nipples when she breastfed you. It hurt when you refused to talk to her for a few hours and it hurt even more when you told her: “I don’t love you”. It hurt when you got into a fight and it hurt even more when you were helpless in a tough situation. But she never told you because she loves you.
2. You made her cry A LOT
She cried when she saw you crying because there’s nothing worse for a mother than seeing their own child suffer. She cried when she was scared because you didn’t answer your phone one night, but she also cried with joy. She cried when she found out she is pregnant and she cried the first time she saw you. And she still cries every now and then simply because she loves you so much.
3. She was often scared
She got scared when she got pregnant and she was scared for the whole 9 months while she carried you. She was scared like crazy when she gave birth to you and she’s always scared that she’s not good enough for you. She was afraid you’re not eating well or you’re not getting enough sleep and she always was up all night waiting for you to return safely from your night out. She was scared when you first got sick and it never got easier. She was often scared because she loves you.
4. She was always tired
Ever since she gave birth to you, she never got a good night’s sleep. During the first couple of years, she would always wake up every few hours because you woke up too. She had to wake up before you did to prepare breakfast and she always had to stay awake way longer than you did to clean up your mess and to put everything in order. She couldn’t sleep when you were out, she couldn’t sleep when you were sick and every now and then she couldn’t sleep because she was there by your bedside, getting her heart filled with joy by watching your beautiful face while you were sleeping.
5. She wanted things for herself
That last cookie she gave – she wanted to eat it herself, but couldn’t do it knowing that you want it too. The best bite of that amazing sandwich? She wanted to take her, but she saw you looking at it with those big, lovely eyes. That last potato chip in the bag when you are watching a movie? She always wants it, but she loves you too much not to let you have it.
6. She didn’t take a shower for days
After you were born, she had no time for herself, not even to take a shower. It would be days that she’d spend wearing the same clothes, maybe a couple of weeks before she finally washed her hair. But she always kept you clean and bathed you and gave you new clothes. Because you matter the most to her!
7. She carried you way longer than she should’ve
At first, it was easy for her to carry you because you didn’t weight much. But as you grew older, she kept carrying you. She held you in her arms while she was doing some cooking, while she was trying to clean the house, she held you wrapped around her neck when she was drinking and no matter how heavy you were getting and how huge the pain in her arms was, she never put you down. Because, even though every single bone and muscle of her body hurt, she loved carrying you!
8. She knows she has failed you
That moment when she dressed up like a hippie and your friends considered her insane? She was just trying to blend in and be funny, but she knows that she failed. She knows that she isn’t perfect and that she had her fair share of mistakes. She knows that she has failed you and always wishes that she could go back in time to fix those mistakes. She knows that she acted stupid sometimes or failed to be there for you on some occasions. But she always wanted to make you proud. She always wanted to help you – and that hurts the most: knowing that she couldn’t!
9. You really matter the most
She never really cared that she came back home tired, that she was feeling miserable and she hadn’t taken a shower for days, that her hair was a mess and her clothes had food stains all over: you were always her top priority because you are the one who matters the most. You were always first, she always took care of you first, even though she was exhausted and wanted (and knew that she deserved!) some time off.
10. But she would do it all over again
It was difficult, it was painful, it was exhausting and frustrating, it was even horrible at times, but that doesn’t matter at all for her. She would do it all over again without even thinking about it because despite all the secrets that she holds, despite all the disappointments and failures, she loves you like crazy and seeing you happy, seeing you laugh – that beats everything and gives her power to go on. Because she’s your mother. Because she loves you!
So maybe now it’s the time to thank your mother. Share this article, tag your mother in it and tell her that you love her. She deserves to hear that as often as possible!
Side-by-Side Photos of Parents and Their Kids Taken At the Same Age
This is an example of a WordPress post, you could edit this to put information about yourself or your site so readers know where you are coming from. You can create as many posts as you like.
This is an example of a WordPress post, you could edit this to put information about yourself or your site so readers know where you are coming from. You can create as many posts as you like in order to share with your readers what is on your mind. This is an example of a WordPress post, you could edit this to put information about yourself or your site so readers know where you are coming from. You can create as many posts as you like.
This is an example of a WordPress post, you could edit this to put information about yourself or your site so readers know where you are coming from. You can create as many posts as you like in order to share with your readers what is on your mind.
You can create as many posts as you like in order to share with your readers what is on your mind. This is an example of a WordPress post, you could edit this to put information about yourself or your site so readers know where you are coming from. You can create as many posts as you like in order to share with your readers what is on your mind.
This Powerful Letter To Her Future Daughter Is Advice Every Girl Must Hear
Sierra Charlesworth isn’t a mother – yet – but that doesn’t mean she hasn’t thought about what she would say to her daughter when she does have children. This beautiful letter to her future daughter contains advice that just about everyone should read and share with the women in their lives.
My Dear Daughter, As I was driving in my car today, I thought about all of my insecurities. Yes, I am a grown woman and I was thinking of all the insecurities that I still have. Because, even though I think of myself as a pretty secure, confident, and brave woman, I still have issues with myself, unfortunately. I wish I could say I didn’t, but that’s not true. Because I am not perfect. I try my hardest to be the best person possible, but I am by no means perfect. And although this may seem hard to believe, I am human. I make many mistakes. And you know what, that’s okay. I want you to know that it’s okay to have insecurities. That it’s okay to not be perfect. That’s part of living this life. However, I don’t want that to deter you from still being a successful, confident woman. I wrote this before you were born. I wrote this before I even knew you were going to exist in my life. I did this for a couple of reasons: A) So that I can look back on this and remember B) So that you can see a little bit into the “young” version of my writing C) How cool to think of a future child and what I would want to say to her (you!) There are a few things that I want you to remember; a few things that I personally value that I think are important to your well-being, growth, health, and happiness.
A Photographer Finds Powerful Images Of Motherhood From 50 Years Ago
The Photographs of This Man And His Daughter Alice Bee Are Totally Fantastic
Ever since his daughter and the love of his life was born back in 2010, photographer Dave Engledow has been taking photos of her. He refers to himself as the worlds greatest dad. Going by the photos, he is definitely a pretty hysterical dad.
Using a high quality camera and some clever post production techniques Dave manages to capture the moment so incredibly well. We have selected a number of our favourite shots and added them for your viewing pleasure below.
SOME OF THE PHOTOS TAKE MUNDANE DAILY CHORES LOOK INTERESTING.
THEY ARE ALL VIBRANT AND EXCITING.
And show what trouble dads and their little princesses can get into.
BUT MOST OF ALL THEY SHOW THE INCREDIBLE BOND BETWEEN A FATHER AND DAUGHTER.
Follow the Leader
This is an example of a WordPress post, you could edit this to put information about yourself or your site so readers know where you are coming from. You can create as many posts as you like in order to share with your readers what is on your mind.
This is an example of a WordPress post, you could edit this to put information about yourself or your site so readers know where you are coming from. You can create as many posts as you like in order to share with your readers what is on your mind. This is an example of a WordPress post, you could edit this to put information about yourself or your site so readers know where you are coming from. You can create as many posts as you like in order to share with your readers what is on your mind.
This is an example of a WordPress post, you could edit this to put information about yourself or your site so readers know where you are coming from. You can create as many posts as you like in order to share with your readers what is on your mind.
This is an example of a WordPress post, you could edit this to put information about yourself or your site so readers know where you are coming from. You can create as many posts as you like in order to share with your readers what is on your mind. This is an example of a WordPress post, you could edit this to put information about yourself or your site so readers know where you are coming from. You can create as many posts as you like in order to share with your readers what is on your mind.